NYT Obituary Writer Sam Roberts on What Obits Reveal About Life, Death, and Legacy + His New Book 'Are They Dead Yet?'

In this episode of TSFS, I sit down with New York Times obituary writer Sam Roberts, who has written more than 1,600 obituaries and explains why obits are really about lives, not death. Sam shares how he came from a culture of denying death, then learned to find the “rosebud moment” that captures someone’s essence, and why news obituaries differ from death notices and eulogies. We talk about the toughest editorial calls—who gets one of the few daily slots, how to handle misdeeds and context (including his Charles Rangel example), and what families often want omitted. Sam also explains The Times’ 2,000 advance obituaries, the pressure of instant online deadlines, and what he’s learned from interviewing people facing death, including John Sexton and Pat Thaler. We discuss humor, famous last words, polarizing figures, and The Times’ “Portraits of Grief,” ending with Sam’s belief that there are no ordinary lives. Timestamps: 00:32 Obits Are About Life 02:02 Crafting The Perfect Obit 08:46 Advance Obituaries Explained 10:59 Lessons From The Dying 18:01 Families Versus The Truth 21:48 Inside The Book 25:37 Portraits Of Grief And Ordinary Lives MY Go Big Podcasting⁠⁠ Courses have NEW pricing for summer! Learn to start, monetize, and grow your own podcast. Use code SUMMERSALE20 for 20% OFF all courses. Course start at just $9 **SHOP my Amazon Marketplace - especially if you're looking to get geared-up to start your own Podcast!!!** ⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/thesarahfrasershow⁠⁠ Show is sponsored by: CashApp now offers accounts for kids ages 6-12yrs. Start helping your child learn about money. CashApp is safe and secure. For a limited time, new Cash App customers who are parents can use our exclusive referral code FAMILY10 to earn $10. Download Cash App, enter the referral code in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you will receive $10. Terms apply. Download Cash App today and open a managed account for your child. Visit our link, https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/q6skmihp Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings and Offers provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6-12. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. ForHers.com/sarahfraser get affordable weight loss that works and is mindful. Start your customized plan today. Weight Loss by Hers is not available in all 50 states. Wegovy® is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A/S. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wegovy® clinical study information, and restrictions, visit forhers.com/sarahfraser Hungryroot.com/TSFS “Explore my digital cookbook on Hungryroot today and find recipes that are right for you. Go to Hungryroot dot com slash TSFS to access my cookbook: ‘Save me! It’s Dinner O’Clock’ Oneskin.co/tsfs has the best eye cream, moisturizer, and skincare line on the market, read their thousands of 5 and get 15% OFF with code TSFS at checkout Talkiatry.com/TSFS do you feel like your anxiety, postpartum, or ADHD is more than a ‘rough patch,’ check out Talkiatry and go to their website to complete a short assessment and get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist  Thisisneeded.com for the best women’s vitamins especially for prenatal and trying to conceive. Use code TSFS for 20% OFF your first order Nutrafol.com get fabulous, healthy, thicker, fasting growing hair with Nutrafol. Use promo code TSFS for $10 off your first months subscription and FREE shipping Rocketmoney.com/tsfs join today and experience financial freedom. Rocket Money will help you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions and set your money goals all on one app Quince.com/tsfs get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That’s Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash tsfs. Follow me on Instagram/Tiktok: @thesarahfrasershow  ***Visit our Sub-Reddit:⁠ ⁠reddit.com/r/thesarahfrasershow⁠⁠ for ALL things The Sarah Fraser Show!!!*** Advertise on The Sarah Fraser Show: thesarahfrasershow@gmail.com Got a juicy gossip TIP from your favorite TLC or Bravo show? Email: thesarahfrasershow@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices