Jesus | Why Is He So Hot?

The Bible forgot to tell us what Jesus actually looked like, so ye olde artists just went with: really, really, really ridiculously good-looking. And almost always naked for some reason? Christianity somehow ended up with a silky-haired, muscular, half-naked thirst trap Jesus who has been turning church pews into awkward puberty chambers for centuries. We follow handsome Jesus from the supposedly ugly Suffering Servant of Isaiah through Renaissance abs, transparent loincloths, exposed genitals and Michelangelo’s beefcake Messiah — all the way to the 2024 “Sexy Jesus” poster that sent conservative Christians into an outrage spiral.  Along the way we investigate Jesus’ alleged beard, the theological importance of his junk, and Christianity’s deeply weird relationship with sex, nudity and homosexuality.  Fully scripted. Heavily produced. Featuring the two best Ninja Turtles and Lexi repeatedly discovering that Italian and Latin are apparently not pronounced the way they look.  Patreon -Join us on Patreon for unsolicited Jesus dikpix! (Maybe.) But you definitely get 2 bonus episodes a month, early ad-free listening, and exclusive extras — no homosexuality-as-a-weapon required. 👉 Join Our Community on Patreon Here → patreon.com/satanismysuperheroMore Sexy Jesus? Check out our last Episode 'White Jesus', and learn what happens when people rewrite the Messiah's race instead of just giving him abs. MAIL US - Got a religious boner, a suspiciously sexy saint, or just top-tier hate mail? Send it our way — we promise to judge you exactly as hard as Jesus judges that loin cloth. Email: satanismysuperhero@gmail.com Satan Is My Superhero is a satirical, fully researched and evidence-based comedy show for adults. We investigate history, religion, conspiracy theories and other assorted human nonsense for the purposes of comedy, criticism and analysis. Satan is my Superhero does NOT want to recruit you into a cult, overthrow the government or teach you how to summon the Devil. We DO NOT actually believe in Satan. Judas, Lexi and the Satan Is My Superhero team do not endorse hatred, discrimination, violence, self-harm or illegal activity.Send us Fan MailSupport the showWelcome, Sinners!  We’re building a cult — the good kind. No robes, just laughs. Catch every blasphemous episode: Listen Here Wear your heresy: Merch Store Support the pod & unlock Hoots songs: Patreon Your reviews, shares, and smart-ass comments keep the cult alive.