What is SPACE Treatment with Lauren Siegel

When anxiety starts shaping the whole family's routines, helping the child may need to begin with supporting the parents. Dr. Lauren Siegel joins me to talk about SPACE, which stands for Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions. It is a little different from many treatments for childhood anxiety because although the child is still the focus, the parents are the ones going to therapy and making changes. Rather than beginning with "What skills does my child need?" SPACE asks parents to look at how anxiety is functioning within the family and what they may be able to approach differently. One of the big ideas in SPACE is accommodation, and we need to be very clear about what that means because this is not the same thing as the accommodations a child may appropriately receive at school. In this context, we are talking about the ways family members can unintentionally organize themselves around a child's anxiety. Maybe the family stops going to certain places. Maybe a parent spends hours helping a child fall asleep or accompanies them every time they go to another room. And there is zero shame in how we got there. If your child is distressed, of course you want to help. Lauren points out that parents are biologically wired to respond to their children's distress. That is how we keep babies alive. The question as kids grow becomes whether a particular kind of help is still supporting them or whether it may be reinforcing the idea that they cannot handle the situation without us. That is where SPACE gets interesting. Reducing an accommodation does not mean withdrawing support or throwing a child into the deep end. Lauren takes a gradual, individualized approach that starts with what the parent and child can realistically handle. Maybe bedtime is not the place to start because that time still feels connected and lovely for the family. Maybe there is another part of the day that is creating much more frustration and feels more workable. There is no universal rule about what a six-year-old "should" be able to do. We also talk about something that is hard for pretty much every parent: seeing your child upset and not immediately making the upset disappear. Some distress is part of learning that we can do hard things and come out the other side okay. But that does not mean all distress is automatically productive. A child who is overwhelmed by a sensory or nervous system issue may need something very different. The work is figuring out the difference and finding the just right challenge for that child. Parent regulation matters here too. If one parent is particularly activated by a situation and another has more bandwidth, maybe they tap in. SPACE creates room for parents to look at their own fears, reactions, and pressure points before changing anything with the child. Because the goal is not to white-knuckle your way through a plan while everybody's nervous system is on fire. What I like about this approach is the message underneath it. Sometimes changing how we respond to anxiety tells a child, "I see that this is hard, and I also believe you can get through it." That is very different from pretending the anxiety is not real. It is support with confidence built into it. Key Takeaways SPACE is a parent-based treatment for childhood anxiety, so parents attend the sessions even though the child's anxiety remains the focus. SPACE can be especially useful when anxiety is significantly affecting a child's daily life and the routines of the whole family. In SPACE, accommodation refers to ways family members may unintentionally organize themselves around a child's anxiety. Accommodating an anxious child is a natural response to distress, so the goal is understanding the pattern rather than blaming parents. Gradually changing an accommodation can send the message, "I know this is hard, and I believe you can handle it." There is no one-size-fits-all expectation for what a child should be able to do. The approach needs to fit the individual child and family. Parent readiness matters. Starting with a situation the parent feels able and motivated to change can make the process more manageable. Some distress can be tolerable and part of growth, while sensory overload or significant dysregulation may require a different response. Parent regulation matters too, and co-parents can sometimes tap in for one another depending on their bandwidth. Success is not making a child stop feeling anxious. It can mean changing the adult response while continuing to offer support. About Lauren Siegel Dr. Lauren Siegel is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder and Chief Operating Officer of Kingsbury Wellness & Learning Group. She has more than 15 years of experience providing psychotherapy and comprehensive neuropsychological evaluations to children and adults and is passionate about helping families navigate learning and emotional challenges while expanding access to high-quality psychological care. Dr. Siegel has worked in school settings and has extensive experience helping families and clinicians understand the special education process. Her clinical interests include supporting girls and women on the autism spectrum, middle schoolers developing their identities, children with ADHD, and parents of anxious children using the SPACE model. She earned her undergraduate degree from the University of Virginia and her doctorate in clinical psychology from George Washington University. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links: 🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com 📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session 📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured 👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story 📝 Read my latest blog posts: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/blog 🎤 Explore my upcoming live workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/live-workshops 🎥 Explore my on-demand workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/workshop-replays ➡️ Instagram: http://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet ➡️ Facebook: http://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet ➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/ 🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/ Enjoying the show? If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show—and it means a lot. If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family. Thank you for being here. 💛