#84 You Don't Have to Take My Word for It: Revising Old Stories and Building Trust

What happens when someone you love expects something from you that you truly wish they didn't... and you understand why they expect it?Our relationships are filled with predictions.We anticipate how our partner will respond, how a familiar conversation will unfold, or what will happen when we find ourselves in a situation we've experienced many times before.And often, those expectations exist for a reason.In this deeply personal episode, Trish explores how our nervous systems use past experiences to anticipate what may happen next, and what becomes possible when we stop fighting those predictions and begin creating new experiences instead.Through a recent experience with her own family, Trish considers what it means to recognize that someone we love may have learned to expect something from us that doesn't reflect what we want to bring to the relationship.The "old stories" we carry aren't simply cognitive stories we're telling ourselves. They can be predictions grounded in repeated nervous-system experience. And when our nervous systems have gathered evidence for what is likely to happen, changing that prediction may require more than simply being told that things are different now.Through personal storytelling, practical neuroscience, and the lens of The Road to Reconnection™, Trish explores how understanding Prediction as Protection can help us move beyond promises and begin participating in the experiences that make new predictions, and greater trust, possible.In this episode, you'll learn:How repeated relational experiences can shape what we learn to expect from one another.Why old predictions can remain powerful even when circumstances or people begin to change.How Prediction as Protection can help us understand expectations without judging or dismissing them.Why asking someone to trust that things are different may not be enough to change what their nervous system expects.How validation can contribute to greater relational safety and a stronger foundation for growth.Why changing the conditions surrounding familiar experiences can create opportunities for something new.How new experiences can gradually provide evidence for new predictions.Why building trust may be less about convincing someone we've changed and more about allowing change to be experienced.Sometimes we want the people we love to simply trust us when we say things will be different.But maybe they don't have to take our word for it.Maybe we can understand the experiences that shaped what they expect.And then we can begin creating new experiences together.Not by erasing what happened before.Not by demanding trust.But by creating opportunities for something different to become familiar.And, over time, for something different to become possible.If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat! For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.