#87 Getting Knocked Down and Finding Your Way Back Up: What Nervous System Flexibility Looks Like

Have you ever been knocked down by something and wondered, “After all the work I’ve done, why is this still so hard?” We sometimes imagine that growth will eventually make us so regulated, resilient, and capable that difficult experiences won’t knock us down anymore.But life doesn’t stop bringing challenges just because we’ve grown. We can still feel overwhelmed by something enormous, or find ourselves unexpectedly affected by something that looks relatively small from the outside.So perhaps the question isn’t how to avoid getting knocked down. Perhaps it’s how our relationship with what happens next can begin to change.In this episode, Trish shares two very different experiences that brought her growing capacity to respond to overwhelm into focus. Through personal storytelling and the lens of Polyvagal Theory, she explores what nervous system flexibility can look like when we allow ourselves to be affected by life, recognize what we need, and discover what becomes possible as our circumstances and capacity change.Getting back up isn’t always about doing more. Sometimes it means slowing down, allowing ourselves to rest, or accepting support. And sometimes it means taking a step forward without needing to know how we’ll navigate the entire journey.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why getting knocked down by a difficult experience doesn’t erase the growth you’ve made.How nervous system flexibility differs from staying calm, connected, or capable all the time.Why both withdrawal and constant action can become patterns that leave us feeling stuck.How to begin noticing the difference between temporarily escaping overwhelm and caring for yourself in ways that genuinely restore you.Why knowing what you need doesn’t always mean you have the capacity to do it right away.How rest, compassion, and receiving support can help expand what becomes available to you.Why getting back up may mean participating in your life differently, rather than returning to exactly where you were before.How you can care for yourself and the people you love even when you cannot control what happens next.We don’t have to fight every wave that knocks us down.We don’t have to shame ourselves for being affected by life.And we don’t have to figure out the entire journey before we can begin caring for ourselves in this moment.There may be hard moments ahead. There may be things we wish we could change but simply can’t. And the way forward may not look like the path we would have chosen.But growth can give us more ways to care for ourselves, more ways to find support, and more capacity to respond to life’s challenges in ways that truly support us. One moment and one step at a time, we can find our own way back up. If you and your partner are ready to co-create the roadmap to the relationship of your dreams, join us for the next in-person "Getting the Love You Want" Weekend Couples Retreat! For support in how to have deeper connections and better communication in the relationships that matter most in your life, follow the host, Trish Sanders on Instagram , Bluesky or LinkedIn.