The 100th Episode of Dead Money!...except now I hate poker

Been running bad for what feels like a hell of a lot longer than it's actually been. And my play has been not helping one bit in far too many spots. I'm getting depressed and burnt out again. And go figure that the saddest sappiest sounding episode I've ever record comes when I finally hit the century mark milestone. I'm searching for a solution. I can't stand the fucking DB PLO bomb pots they run every 30 minutes now at every goddam room now except the Wynn. The games have been torturously boring so I've been thinking about switching to a night schedule. But that seems a longshot because I never stick to a schedule to begin with, since who the hell wants to do that? And an overnight schedule is the hardest one to keep on top of it. So I'm tilted, bored, aggravated, and worst of all sick with my play that appears to be suffering from all of this. I'm feeling damned if I do and damned if I don't. When I'm not playing I get FOMO. And when I show up I want to shoot myself. And I've barely even lost anything! That's the sickest part. That tells you just how worn out poker has left me feeling again. And it's been on and off for a while now. This game is very demanding and I think every 4-6 years or so I just start to lose interest completely from wear and tear. And especially when you consider how things went the final 6 months of last year. OMFG. That was the type run that alters both a person's mindset AND what type of role they want poker to play in their life. The type of run that heavily influences their entire career trajectory. But things change constantly and things change fast. So who knows? Maybe one or two big winning days happen and I feel good as new again. But that could also be a long way off. And even if does happen, it may only provide temporarily relief before I want to jump in front of a train again a week later.But the good news is I can take as long as I need to sort this out. Still, I always feel productive about a day when I play poker no matter how I feel before, during, or after the session. And I suppose that's the most important thing of all...maybe.