031 – Who Should You Trust When You're New to Homeschooling?

Why lived experience matters when everyone online sounds like an expertThe internet is great at surfacing ideas. What it doesn’t do well is tell you which ideas have held up over time. Algorithms reward certainty, simple answers, and quick wins, making it increasingly difficult to distinguish between people who sound like experts and those who have earned their perspective through years of experience.In this solo episode, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with Jen Mackinnon and shares how it came full circle when she unexpectedly began homeschooling her 12-year-old this spring. Returning to the homeschool world reminded Tonya that what worked for one child, season, or family may not work for another. It also revealed how challenging it can be for newer homeschool families to find advice from people who have already made it through the hard years.Building on that realization, Tonya explores why experienced people rarely speak in absolutes. They say “it depends,” ask for more context, and openly acknowledge when their opinions have changed. That isn’t a lack of confidence. It’s the perspective that comes from trying different approaches, making mistakes, navigating burnout, and discovering that some lessons can only be learned through time.Tonya also shares the story behind Been There, Homeschooled That, a free online summit for families in their first three years of homeschooling. She isn’t hosting the summit because she considers herself a homeschool expert. She’s hosting it because she’s an experienced community builder who knows how to find remarkable people, vet real experience, and create spaces where different perspectives can coexist. Every speaker has launched at least one homeschooled child into adulthood because newer homeschoolers don’t need one perfect answer. They need experienced people who can help them ask better questions and find the answers that work for their families.You’ll hear how:The internet rewards confidence more often than experience or proven successAlgorithms associate certainty, simple language, and named frameworks with authorityExperienced people say “it depends” because they understand the importance of contextChanging your mind can be a sign of earned wisdom rather than inconsistencyWhat works for one child, family, or season of homeschooling may not work for anotherThere is no single curriculum, routine, or philosophy that works for every homeschool familyCommunity matters when one space only recognizes part of your identity or circumstancesPerfection is not the goal when choosing curriculum or building a homeschool routineSome lessons about burnout, adolescence, and launching children can only be learned through timeBeen There, Homeschooled That connects newer families with veteran homeschoolers who have lived through the hard years Episode Highlights[01:15] How Tonya unexpectedly found herself homeschooling again[03:00] Who do you trust when everyone online sounds like an expert?[03:50] Why the internet rewards confidence more than experience[08:40] What experienced people mean when they say “it depends”[13:30] The conversation that inspired a summit for homeschool “dinosaurs”[16:35] Why there is no single right way to homeschool[22:30] Why newer homeschoolers need guidance from people who have survived the hard years[26:30] The story and purpose behind Been There, Homeschooled ThatResources & MentionsBeen There, Homeschooled That – Register for the free online summit taking place September 1–3, 2026, with recordings available through September 8Episode 030 – The Hidden Life of Working Homeschool Moms with Jen MackinnonPractical by Default – Practical resources and support for working homeschool momsWorking Homeschool Mom Club – Jen Mackinnon’s free community for moms balancing work and homeschooling Meet Your HostTonya Kubo is a community strategist, marketing consultant, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. For nearly two decades, she’s built online spaces that feel less like comment sections and more like chosen family. She’s the fixer you call when your Facebook group has gone straight-up Lord of the Flies and the bouncer at the door of internet nonsense. As the host of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers and bridge-builders who know “normal” was never the point. Her favorite spaces? The ones where the freak flags fly high.Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.Let’s Stay FreakyFacebook GroupLinkedInInstagramPodcast Hub What’s NextNext time, Tonya talks with clergy coach and author Margaret Marcuson about sustainable ministry, clergy burnout, and what happens when the people holding communities together can no longer hold themselves together.