Confessions of a First-Time TEDx Speaker with Colette Fehr

Welcome to another episode of My First Stage, where I get to sit down with amazing public speakers, dig into their journeys, and uncover how those “first stage” moments became launchpads for business, growth, and transformation. This week, I’m thrilled to share my conversation with Colette Fehr—a licensed psychotherapist, nationally recognized relationship expert, author, podcast host, and, as of last year, a TEDx speaker! If you’ve ever felt the sting of rejection or wondered if putting yourself out there is really worth it, Colette’s story is going to hit home in the best possible way. Colette Fehr is the author of The Cost of Quiet, a breakthrough book on communication in relationships, and she’s the host of the Substack newsletter “Secrets from a Therapist.” Known for her warmth, honesty, and practical advice, Colette brings decades of experience as a therapist and public speaker. In April 2024, she achieved a major goal by landing—and absolutely crushing—a coveted TEDx stage. Here’s a snapshot of what Colette and I dug into: The Realities of Landing a TEDx Talk: How Colette navigated repeated rejection, burnout, and the “franchise” world of TEDx applications. Using Personal Connections (and How to Pitch): Why and how she chose local and meaningful places to apply, and the strategies she put into her applications. Failing Forward—Openly: Why Colette embraces talking about setbacks and how she uses vulnerability as fuel for personal and professional growth. Show Day Surprises (and Epic Recoveries): What really happened when her slides glitched, the clicker died, and how she managed to connect in the face of technical chaos. Collaboration Over Ego: The power of working with coaches and trusted partners, and why you shouldn’t write your keynote or talk in a vacuum. Turning TEDx Into a Platform: How being on a TEDx stage (and being chosen as a TED Editor’s Pick!) has opened doors, boosted her speaking fees, and become a key credibility builder. Advice for Aspiring Speakers: Why Colette says you should speak anywhere and everywhere, leverage Toastmasters, tap into mentorship, and never stop refining your craft—even when you’re terrified. If Colette’s stage story inspired you, here’s your next move: Watch Colette’s TEDx Talk – Find the link in our show notes, give it a watch, and soak up her wisdom about communication, vulnerability, and growth. Connect with Colette – Grab her book The Cost of Quiet wherever books are sold, subscribe to her Substack “Secrets from a Therapist,” or find her on Instagram @colettejanefehr. Start Building Your Own Stage Muscles – Join Toastmasters, offer to speak in your local community, or just start sharing your insights online—every rep counts. Subscribe & Review – If you loved this episode, please hit subscribe, drop a review, and let me know who you want to hear from next! Pitch Your Story – Have a first stage memory (triumph or disaster) you want to share? Visit myfirststagepodcast.com and let’s connect! Thanks for joining me on this episode of My First Stage. Colette’s story is proof that persistence, vulnerability, and collaboration will always outshine perfection. I can’t wait to bring you more amazing journeys next week! Timestamped Summaries [00:00-00:38] – I introduce Colette and highlight her many hats: psychotherapist, author, podcast host, and TEDx speaker. [00:38-02:57] – Colette introduces her book The Cost of Quiet and draws the connection between her work and the stories she chose for her TEDx Talk. [02:57-03:34] – We dive deep into the emotional rollercoaster of applying for TEDx, the pain (and lessons) of rejection, and how personal “connections” played into her pitches. [04:05-05:45] – Colette breaks down her TEDx hunt process: navigating decentralized applications, LinkedIn cold outreach, customizing every pitch, and getting “lucky” on her 7th try. [07:16-10:11] – Colette describes the days leading up to landing her TEDx “at the last minute,” the exhilaration of getting pic