You Cannot Control Other People You Never Could: Here Is What You Actually Can | Tori DaCosta

How much frustration comes from trying to control things that were never ours to control? Author and business leader Tori DaCosta joins Bridget Ann Stuart to explore the framework at the heart of her book, No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence. Tori breaks it down simply. We control our actions and words. We manage our emotions and mindset. We influence other people and our environments. Tori also challenges the idea of work life balance, explains why success and money do not erase insecurity, and shares how an emotional or cognitive "flinch" can quietly affect decisions, relationships, and leadership. From learning to pause before reacting to questioning the stories and assumptions we carry, she offers a way to recognize what belongs to us, take ownership of it, and respond differently when life gets difficult. Episode Highlights What we can control, manage, and influence Why another person always falls into the category of influence Why trying to achieve work life balance can create unnecessary pressure Tori's approach to work life collaboration Why every yes to something means a no to something else How success and money can leave underlying insecurity untouched Recognizing the emotional and cognitive "flinch" that keeps us from moving forward Asking whether something is actually true or simply our perspective Why identifying an emotion is necessary before we can manage it The power of assuming positive intent when the facts are unclear How a seven second pause can prevent a response we later regret Why silence and delayed responses can lead to better communication How cultural conditioning shaped Tori's early beliefs about women and ambition Giving yourself permission to pursue meaningful goals How Tori wrote her first book while completing an Executive MBA, working full time, raising a family, and training for her first marathon Why consistency matters even when motivation is missing How doing hard things builds discipline and resilience Why growth in one part of life can positively affect every other part Book Mentioned No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence by Tori DaCosta About Guest: Tori DaCosta Tori DaCosta is an author, entrepreneur, business leader, speaker, and founder of Journey Stone. Her work focuses on self leadership, ownership, mindset, resilience, and helping people better understand how their experiences influence the way they think, lead, and make decisions. Her first book, No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence, was published March 3, 2026. Tori wrote the book while completing an Executive MBA, working full time, raising a family, and training for her first marathon. Connect with Tori DaCosta Facebook @toridacostaleadership Instagram @toridacostaleadership LinkedIn @toridacostaleadership About Bridget Ann Stuart Bridget Ann Stuart is a REALTOR®, Executive Strategic Performance Coach, and host of The Inner Estate. Since beginning her real estate career in 1998, Bridget has worked across luxury real estate, business growth, leadership, performance, and personal development. Through Strategic Performance Coaching, Bridget helps entrepreneurs, real estate professionals, executives, and business owners create greater clarity, strengthen their performance, and build businesses and lives that reflect what matters most to them. Connect with Bridget: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheRealBridgetStuart/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealbridgetstuart/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRealBridgetStuart\