Why Your Kid Can't Focus, Sit Still, or Calm Down

About this episode

In this episode, Emily Roper returns to unpack the primitive reflexes most closely tied to attention & self-regulation, & why so much of what gets labeled ADHD, defiance, or a "difficult" temperament may actually be a nervous system that never finished developing the way it was supposed to. Host Annamarie von Firley sits down with Emily Roper, Neurodevelopmental Delay Therapist, certified Midwife's Assistant, & founder of Early Roots, for a deep dive into the reflexes behind fidgeting, meltdowns, & the "lazy kid" label What We Cover: • Which primitive reflexes cluster together around attention & regulation • The difference between a child who's truly inattentive & one whose nervous system is in overdrive • How much of what gets called "ADHD" may actually be retained reflexes • The Spinal Galant Reflex — what it is, & its surprising link to fidgeting & bedwetting • Why C-section babies are more likely to retain the Spinal Galant • The STNR ("crawling reflex") & its connection to posture, focus, and sitting still • Why labeling a struggling kid "lazy" can become a self-fulfilling prophecy • How a retained Moro Reflex keeps the nervous system on constant high alert • Why sensory overload & attention difficulties feed each other • Why emotional regulation has to come before real focus • The surprising link between the kindergarten age cutoff & ADHD diagnosis rates • What a truly regulated nervous system looks like, & how to help a child get there 02:08 Which primitive reflexes are behind attention & regulation04:03 Inattentive child vs. a nervous system working overtime05:55 How much of "ADHD" is actually retained primitive reflexes07:18 What is the Spinal Galant, & what's its job in infancy?08:19 Why C-section babies are more likely to retain the Spinal Galant09:37 What a retained Spinal Galant looks like in a classroom chair or car seat11:14 The surprising link between the Spinal Galant & bedwetting12:42 How teachers and parents misread a retained Spinal Galant14:29 What is the STNR ("crawling reflex"), & what's its job?16:10 How a retained STNR affects focus & sitting still17:31 Why kids with a retained STNR slump or wrap their legs around chair legs19:37 Labeling kids "lazy" & the self-fulfilling prophecy it creates20:35 How STNR connects to reading, copying from the board, & attention23:56 How a retained Moro keeps the nervous system on constant alert26:08 Why a heightened baseline makes focusing on schoolwork so hard27:35 How sensory overload & attention difficulties feed each other29:10 Why emotional regulation has to come before real focus31:51 What happens when multiple reflexes are retained together32:54 What a truly regulated nervous system looks like34:37 Typical childhood wiggliness vs. a reflex that hasn't integrated38:42 For kids already diagnosed with ADHD, is reflex work still worth it?40:42 Does the classroom itself work against normal development? About Emily Roper:Emily Roper is a Neuro-Developmental Delay Therapist & certified Midwife's Assistant, and founder of Early Roots, a specialized therapy & education practice for children with developmental delays. instagram.com/earlyrootsfacebook.com/earlyroots About Annamarie von Firley:After 20 years running her fashion house, reVamp, Annamarie von Firley returned to her toy design roots. With a BA in Wooden Toy Design & a BFA in Furniture Design, she founded Adventuretown Toy Emporium in 2016. About Fledglings' Flight:Fledglings' Flight offers play-based exercises for children birth to age 3, designed to support cognitive, motor, & social-emotional development. Our app gives parents a monthly exercise library, milestone tracking, & — for Premium Members — a personalized developmental profile.Follow us:FledglingsFlight.com app.FledglingsFlight.com Instagram/TikTok/Facebook: @fledglingsflight LinkedIn: fledglings-flight Pinterest: @fledglingsflight Music: Purple Planet Music