“We all fucked each other and now it's weird.”This week’s most romantic movie is... Elvira: Mistress of the Dark. This film has everything: infant smoky-eye glam, municipal ordinance heists, And…
“We fed it buttons until it shit a suit.”This week’s most romantic movie is... Once Bitten. This film has everything: A toothy debriefing, first-class Red Vines, And LaCroix-dusted vampires. If you…
“I don't know if she can actually play cello, but I do believe she had sex with it.”This week’s most romantic movie is... The Witches of Eastwick. This film has everything: giant-dick OSHA protocols,…
“My mother's maiden name is LeBaron, and when my friend found that out, he called me Chrysler for three years.”This week’s most romantic movie is... Mrs. Winterbourne. This film has everything:…
“He can't have a dick made of magic and money.”This week’s most romantic movie is... The Rocketeer. This film has everything: Handsaw helmet engineering, jetpack chicken nuggets, And Timothy Dolphin…
“If you think teeth are bad on nursing, try a beak.”This week’s most romantic movie is... Rock a Doodle. This film has everything: Lisa Frank vomit spells, TARDIS rooster helicopters, And gay-owl…
"What's Bowie gonna do with that baby"This week's most romantic movie is... Labyrinth. This film has everything: environmental fart math, size-magic pharmaceuticals, And arboreal revenge sequels. If…
"Your crucifixion maxing, bro.”This week’s most romantic movie is... Sing Street. This film has everything: celestial class warfare, postmortem party planning, And vampire foreshadowing. If you love…
“I guess I'll just die then”This week’s most romantic movie is... Legend. This film has everything: combustible studios, darkness wrecking balls, And hoop-ready couture. If you love fish-based…
“This man is not analog. He's rich.”This week’s most romantic movie is... Something Wild. This film has everything: mandatory funeral serenades, lethally sexy sharks, And liquor-store pipe wisdom. If…
