55. Raising Coachable Kids

You know that moment when your kid gets in the car and announces, "My coach hates me"? And suddenly your inner mama bear is grabbing her broom, putting on her shoes, and preparing to send a 1700-word email. Yep. We've been there. This week, we're talking about one of the most important skills we can help our kids develop, coachability. Not obedience. Not blindly doing whatever an adult says. And definitely not raising kids who never question anything. We're talking about helping kids learn how to hear feedback without immediately thinking, "I'm terrible," ask questions when they don't understand, handle disappointment, advocate for themselves, and then actually do something with the feedback they've been given. Because eventually, our kids are going to have coaches, teachers, bosses, directors, professors, colleagues and all sorts of people telling them, "Hey, you could do this better." Our job isn't to make sure they never hear it. Our job is to help them know what to do when they hear it. In this episode, we chat about: What being genuinely coachable actually looks like Why correction can so easily become "I'm bad" in a child's mind The difference between feedback about performance and feedback about worth Why perfectionist and high-achieving kids can struggle when things suddenly get hard How the words we use as parents and coaches can accidentally create unhelpful associations Why "good girl" might not always land the way we intend The difference between being uncomfortable because you're growing and being uncomfortable because something isn't right Why kids need to learn that knowing more than them isn't an insult, it means they're in the right room How to teach kids to advocate for themselves respectfully Why correction is not rejection How parents can support their kids without immediately jumping in to rescue them What to do when your child says, "My coach hates me" Why we should get curious before we get angry The importance of allowing kids to experience disappointment, frustration and failure Why we love the phrase, "Do you want to be heard, helped or hugged?" How to praise effort, resilience and behaviour instead of simply labelling kids as "talented" or "good" Why sometimes the best response to feedback is simply, "Thank you" And, importantly, how to teach kids the difference between being challenged and being genuinely unsafe or mistreated And yes, there may also be a few stories about Oscar winners, historians, attorneys, negotiators, lactose-intolerant children and parents ready to launch a full-scale investigation into casting decisions. Because apparently, correcting a child's pointed toe can become a family emergency. One thing we really want you to remember: Your child doesn't need to leave every room feeling like the best one in it. They need to learn how to leave a room knowing how to get better. Because eventually, we won't be standing next to them fixing everything. And that's really the goal.