Why Fixing My Horse Didn't Fix My Confidence

When I first got Toby, my confidence took a massive knock.I initially thought that if we could improve Toby’s behaviour, my confidence would naturally come back. So the first thing I did was find a great instructor and trainer who could help me understand his behaviour and give us practical tools to use on the ground, while riding and during schooling.And it worked… Toby’s behaviour improved.But my nerves didn’t.That was the moment I realised that rebuilding riding confidence wasn’t just about working with my horse. I needed to work on myself too.In this episode of The Rise and Ride Show, I’m sharing the three-pronged approach that I developed through my own journey with Toby:🐴 THE HORSE — training, understanding behaviour and practical tools.🧠 THE RIDER — mindset, NLP and learning how to understand and regulate my own reactions and nerves.🤍 THE CONNECTION — Reiki, regulation and developing a deeper sense of connection between horse and rider.My journey into NLP eventually led me to complete a full NLP course because I wanted to understand it deeply enough to use it to help others, as well as supporting my own daughters with their confidence.Then came Reiki. My Mum was already a Reiki practitioner, so I was familiar with it, but I decided to learn it for myself and began practicing on myself before going into the barn. I noticed how much it helped me slow down and regulate my own state.Eventually I wondered: if Reiki was helping me, could it benefit Toby too?That led me to learn Animal Reiki with the wonderful Sarah Beresford, spending time at her yard learning and practicing with her incredible horses.Looking back, I can see that I didn't need to choose between working on my horse and working on myself.I needed to consider the horse, the rider AND the connection between them.In this episode, I talk about:• Why improving Toby’s behaviour didn’t automatically restore my confidence • The importance of finding the right trainer and practical support • How NLP helped me understand my thoughts and reactions • Why confidence isn’t simply about being brave or pushing through fear • How I discovered Reiki and began using it for my own regulation • My experience learning Animal Reiki with Sarah Beresford • Why the horse, rider and connection all matter • The three questions I now use when I feel stuck with my riding • How this experience ultimately shaped the foundations of Align & AdvanceIf you’ve lost your confidence after a fall, difficult experience, change of horse or period away from riding, I hope this episode reminds you that you don’t necessarily have to simply “get back on” and push through.Sometimes the answer is to slow down, understand what’s really going on and look at the whole picture.The horse. The rider. The connection.Welcome to The Rise and Ride Show — a podcast for horse riders who want to feel calmer, more confident and more connected with their horses.Download your free Pre-ride Routine and Tracker here Find out more about Align & Advance: https://alignandadvance.com#HorseRiderConfidence #RidingConfidence #NervousRider #HorseRiding #EquestrianConfidence #HorseAndRider #NLP #AnimalReiki #EquineReiki