Ep 37: Breaking Generational Trauma With Chris Lee

Tony Cooper sits down with Chris Lee, a coach, trainer, and speaker who has spent his career helping people break the beliefs that quietly run their lives, to talk about where generational trauma actually starts and how dads can be the ones who finally stop it. They dig into what happens the moment your kid pushes a button: why the reaction fires before you can think, and why the fix isn't suppressing it but learning to create a space between what happens and how you respond.Chris breaks down his idea of "response-ability," the two fears every child is actually born with (falling and loud noises), and how every other fear in your life got handed to you by someone else's playbook. The conversation also covers why kids process emotion so honestly compared to adults, how the way a dad treats a mom shapes a child's emotional environment long before the child can remember it, and a practical tool for couples: building a family vision with non-negotiables that protect the home you're creating. This is a conversation about interrupting the pattern early, doing the work before the damage gets passed down, and choosing who you want to be instead of defaulting to who you were taught to be. If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, please like and subscribe. If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. 00:00 Cold open: hot heads, clarity 00:29 Meet Chris Lee, godfather 02:03 What being a godfather means 05:13 What is emotional intelligence? 07:26 Responsibility as response-ability 08:49 The Will Smith Oscars example 11:43 The power of a deep breath 16:28 Where trauma actually comes from 17:07 The two fears we're born with 21:31 Why we forget our own divinity 24:33 Pretending vs. choosing confidence 27:33 The subliminal resentment of a baby 30:14 Why kids process emotion honestly 34:18 Feeling inadequate as a new dad 36:14 How treating mom affects the child 38:06 Building a family vision 40:40 Becoming your parents unconsciously 45:15 Choosing kind over being right 46:56 Chris on earning his own worth 50:59 Advice for a brand new dad