Dr Robert Glover: Nice Is Not Honest

Most men do not lie to get away with something.They lie so that nobody gets upset with them.In this episode of Internal Momentum, Ben sits down with Dr RobertGlover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to unpack what the ceilingis actually made of when a man says he wants one thing and thendoes the complete opposite.Robert has been working on the pattern he named for thirty fiveyears, and at seventy he still calls himself a recovering Nice Guy.He describes the voice that used to run in his head almost aroundthe clock, the one he calls the lie coach, telling him what toleave out, what to soften, and how to keep everybody comfortable.He shares the affair he had during his second marriage, theultimatum that sent him into therapy, and why he now sees that onefailure as the reason the book exists at all.Ben and Robert explore honesty as the actual work. Telling thetruth about what you want instead of earning it sideways. Makingyour own needs a priority without apology. What it costs a man tospend decades being agreeable rather than honest. Ben opens upabout his own years as a nice guy, the relationship he walked awayfrom and later returned to, and the swing to the opposite extremethat Robert calls the boundary kamikaze.The conversation then turns to the part most men resist. Robertmakes the case that a man cannot get everything he needs from hispartner, that a partner should receive what he calls his processedvulnerability rather than the raw version, and that the men whobreak through are the ones who stopped trying to do it on theirown. He also reframes the mistakes people carry the most shameabout as the only things they can truly call their own.If you have ever said yes when you meant no, or done somethingnice while quietly hoping it would be repaid, this episode willname the pattern out loud and show you what it takes to stop.About the GuestDr Robert Glover is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, the bookthat named and defined the Nice Guy Syndrome. He holds a PhD inmarriage and family therapy and practised for years as a licensedmarriage and family therapist before moving into full time workwith men. He now coaches, teaches, and runs small group workshopsfrom his home in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, alongside aninternational membership community for men called IntegrationNation.Connect with Robert:Website: drglover.comCommunity: integrationnation.netInstagram: @drgloverofficialYouTube: youtube.com/@DrGloverOfficialChapters:00:43 Breaking Through the Invisible Ceiling07:20 The Reluctant King: Embracing Purpose and Identity14:04 The Power of Struggle: Finding Meaning in Mistakes19:53 Commitment and Accountability: The Path to Transformation29:24 The Importance of Healthy Self-Interest30:18 Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth35:25 Shifting Perspectives on Intimacy40:45 The Role of Male Friendships47:37 Processing Vulnerability and Support Systems54:08 Breaking the Echo Chamber59:33 The Journey of Nice Guy Recovery01:04:19 The Power of Honesty in Relationships01:13:59 Embracing Mistakes and Moving Forward