Episode 16 - Deliciously Disabled: Andrew Gurza on Sex, Care, and Self-Worth

DescriptionIn this episode of Pleasure Bound, we sit down with Andrew Gurza — host of Disability After Dark and a trailblazer in disability and sexuality advocacy. Andrew opens up about the origins of their podcast, hosting a world famous disability-led play party, navigating self-worth and self-doubt, the complicated realities of sex work and caregiving, and what it really means to long for genuine intimacy as a disabled person. This is a bold, funny, and deeply vulnerable conversation about desire, access, and reclaiming pleasure on your own terms  Timestamps(0:00) — Cold Opening Clip(1:23) — Music Intro: Meet Andrew Gurza, host of Disability After Dark(2:30) — Andrew joins the show (with Jeremy the mannequin)(6:08) — Disability After Dark Journey (09:17) — Expression barriers and the Podcast path to release(11:15) — Pleasure & Pride filled moments in Andrew’s work(12:32) — Hosting a world famous disability-led play party(14:56) — Privilege of Platform and gratitude for all of it(16:11) — Self-worth, self-doubt, and putting on a "work face"(17:59) — Fighting self-doubt by being Authenticly ourselves(20:23) — What really lit the fire: wanting to get laid and be noticed(24:12) — Getting provocative to be taken seriously, going viral(27:36) — Why it's okay to grieve what you can't do(30:19) — Finding joy as a disabled kid vs. as a queer teen(32:53) — Feeling excluded from queer male spaces(34:33) — Public reactions, ableism, and "the face"(36:24) — The baby at the park: unlearning ableism(40:39) — Andrew's sex life today and a scary health scare(44:05) — Tying self-worth to desirability(47:31) — Aging gracefully and shifting desires(48:35) — Time limit on acceptance & receiving less than our worth(47:30) — Shifting desires from sex to intimacy(50:03) — Coming back to the body & the cost of intimacy(52:02) — Disassociation in a Disabled Body(53:30) —  Sacred sexuality, hollowness, and care work(55:30) — The emotional toll and privilege of receiving care(56:51) — Bureaucracy, benefits, and losing autonomy(1:01:27) — What Andrew truly longs for: genuine intimacy(1:04:23) — Spinster Desires(1:07:49) — Closing thoughts and where to find Andrew