Episode 013 - Strong vs. Deep: What Your Desires Are Telling You Pt. 1

Why do you want to be home more AND get ahead at work? Why do you finally get the kids to bed... and immediately miss them?In this episode of the Relatively Functional Dads podcast, we're digging into something every dad feels but rarely names: the constant tug-of-war between competing desires. Advancing your career vs. being home more. Craving quiet vs. craving community. Wanting peace at the end of the day vs. missing the chaos the second it's gone. We name the desires actually competing inside the average dad on a Monday night — and talk about why the tension isn't a malfunction, it's just being human.Then we get into the heart of it: John Mark Comer's line that "our strongest desires are not actually our deepest desires." A strong desire is loud and wants to be satisfied right now — the mindless scroll, the extra drink, the cheap laugh. A deep desire is quiet and long-term — the marriage that lasts, the kids who actually love God, the work that means something. Strong desires shout. Deep desires whisper. And most of us have gotten really good at listening to the wrong one.This is Part 1 of a 2-part series. Next episode, we go further — how your deepest desires can actually work like a compass, pointing you toward how God specifically made you.In this episode:Dad Decisions: 3 hours alone every Saturday vs. your whole family telling you how much they appreciate youDad Decisions: being an incredible dad who everyone outside your family thinks is the worst vs. a decent dad everyone thinks is the bestShould Have Known BetterNaming the desires actually competing inside the average dad on a Monday nightWhy so many dads feel guilty for wanting things at all — rest, hobbies, adventure, successThe difference between a strong desire and a deep desire (and why one satisfies for an hour and the other for a lifetime)A real example: a strong desire shouting over a deeper one, straight from our own weekHow to actually tell, in the moment, which kind of desire you're dealing withChallenge for the week: The next time you catch yourself chasing something right now — a scroll, a snack, an escape — pause and ask, "What am I actually wanting underneath this?" Write down the deep desire you think it's covering for.Mentioned books:The Lord and His Prayer - N.T. WrightSubscribe for more conversations on:Christian fatherhood and dads podcast encouragementDesire, temptation, and spiritual formation for menParenting young kids, marriage, and family lifeDiscovering God's design for your lifeReal, honest dad life momentsWe'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment or send questions and feedback to relativelyfunctionaldads@gmail.com Music Provided By: Derek McClardy Spotify