ep.12 I haven't Been Exposed to Bean Women

Episode 12 of the No One's Watching Podcast. If you're watching this you shouldn't be.Marathon training week 9 out of 27. A third of the way there. Ran my longest run yet at fourteen K, no water, no vest, just a Nike fanny pack from South Carolina. Two hours straight at a thirteen minute pace. If I do that two more times it's a marathon. The math checks out. Also chose to run outside during a tornado warning instead of using a treadmill. I hate the treadmill that much.Went on a family vacation to South Carolina with twenty two people. Eight of them under three years old. It was parenting in another location. Running in South Carolina humidity is like running with your head inside a fishbowl. You can chew on the air. Had to cut my long run short because my stomach almost ended me. The amount of trash cans I was eyeing up on that resort was crazy.Went to Paula Dean's restaurant. Forty five minutes wait. I never wait. The food was alright. But the cheddar garlic buttery biscuits they drop off before the meal? I took one bite and decided I'd marry Paula Dean. She's gotta be in her eighties. I don't care. She's got money and she makes biscuits.A fifty year old woman with the most severe country accent I've ever heard spotted my twins and went "oh my god are they twins?" and I felt like I was being punked. How do you take a southern accent seriously when you're angry? Like "Clyde Dean McDonoughhue get here right now." That's a crazy name but you get the point.Then the UK food rant happened. I've known about beans on toast and tuna potatoes for years. But I saw a video of a woman eating one and it hit me for the first time. I haven't been exposed to bean women. Imagine a first date at a tuna potato place and she kisses you goodnight and there's tuna on your lip and she goes "let me get that." Green gravy on eel pies. I'm happy America got its independence because I would not survive on that diet.Got back from vacation and my coworker looked at my New Balance Rebels and said "those shoes look comfortable." I don't know how to take that. It felt like a knife to the heart. It felt like he was saying I have zero swag and he's glad I chose comfort over looks. I might throw them out now.📱 TikTok & Instagram: stopwatching.today 🎥 YouTube: stopwatching-today