How Lifelong Lovers Cherish Each Other Differently - It is easy to look at someone else’s business, family, house, or marriage and decide ours is not enough. The longer we stay in that comparison, the…
How Lifelong Lovers Keep Wanting Each OtherLast week we kept talking about the work of stopping damage. That work matters. If contempt, unbridled expression, or defensiveness are running the house,…
Get the workbook that accompanies this seriesLast week we talked about borrowing a self. How many of us build a pseudo-self out of attention and approval — reassurance from a partner, praise from a…
Last week we talked about anxiety as a response to a real or imagined threat. How we make our partner the threat. How reactivity is the anxiety.This week is the question underneath that: why does…
If you don’t think you have anxiety, this episode is probably for you.A lot of us hear “anxiety” and picture someone who worries all day and imagines every disaster. That is not how it usually shows…
One of the smallest words in English can quietly change the emotional climate of a marriage.In this episode, we talk about the difference between “but” and “and.” “But” often cancels whatever came…
We just spent two episodes looking at contempt—the number one predictor of divorce. One of the clearest takeaways is this: empathy and contempt cannot live in the same room.When contempt is operating,…
Last week we named the problem: contempt is addictive, corrosive, and the #1 predictor of divorce. This week we take up the harder question—how do we actually walk away from it?We open with an honest…
In this episode, we unpack one of the most destructive forces in modern relationships: contempt.Drawing from Arthur Brooks’ book Love Your Enemies, we explore why contempt is not just a communication…
We’ve all heard (or said) those loaded words: “We need to talk.” For most of us, they immediately trigger defensiveness and dread. But what happens when conversations stop altogether? In this replay…
