Ep. 57 When Your PDA, Autistic Child Can't Separate and You Just Want a Break

Your child can't let you out of their sight — and you're exhausted. Here are the 7 things happening in your nervous system that nobody tells you about. If you have a PDA, autistic or highly sensitive child who can't separate from you, you know this already. They follow you room to room. They hear the toilet flush and call you back. You can't cook dinner without them needing you every few minutes, even when the dinner is for them. And when you do take a little space, you pay for it afterwards. So eventually you stop taking it at all. In this episode I share the morning I drove away from my house while my son screamed and banged on the car — and why it felt, inside me, like I was dying too. Then I walk you through the seven things that happen in your nervous system inside this kind of parenting: 1. Blocked flight energy — the urge to get away with nowhere to go 2. Blocked fight energy — the NO you can't say 3. Guilt and self-criticism for having those urges at all 4. The fear and pressure about your child's future 5. Grief, including the grief of feeling completely unsupported 6. The trapped feeling all of it piles into 7. Your child slowly becoming a cue of danger to your system We also go into the meanings underneath each one, where those beliefs actually came from, and the one pattern that makes co-regulation the most exhausting of all — I'm not okay unless you're okay. This is part one of a three-part series. Next week: the seven moves that make co-regulating a child who can't leave your side so much easier on you. PREFER TO READ IT? The full written version is on the blog: https://www.illuminateu.ca/blog/when-your-pda-autistic-child-can-t-separate-and-you-just-want-a-break WHERE TO START WITH THIS WORK I have three free guides at illuminateu.ca/free-guides 3 Shifts — the three patterns most parents get pulled into during a meltdown, and how to shift them so meltdowns settle instead of spiral. 7 Truths — for the parent who's read the books and done the inner work and still reacts. What's actually running the show underneath. When You've Given Everything to Your High Needs Child and Lost Yourself: 5 Shifts Back to Meaning, Purpose and Feeling Like Yourself Again — for the grief nobody names, the life you thought you'd have, and the version of you that feels lost inside it. If today's episode landed for you, start with 7 Truths. If the grief section was the part that got you, start with Meaning.