Ep. 58 The 7 Moves That Make Co-Regulating Your PDA, Autistic Child Who Can't Leave Your Side So Much Easier

You give and give all day, and then you snap — and then you feel horrible about yourself. Here are the 7 moves that break that cycle.If you're co-regulating a PDA, autistic or highly sensitive child who can't be away from you, you know how the day goes. The demands. The questions. The needing you to stay right there and not move. You're okay with it for a while, and then something in you runs out.In this episode I tell you about the night I sat on the bathroom floor crying after getting angry at my son again — and what I finally understood about why that cycle kept repeating.Then I walk you through seven moves, one for each of the seven things that get triggered in your nervous system inside this kind of parenting:1. When the urge to get away comes — let it move2. When the NO is stuck — let that move too3. When guilt and self-criticism arrive — meet them with compassion4. When the fear about their future grips — let them be distressed briefly, and repair5. When the grief is there — make room for it6. When you feel trapped — give yourself choice7. Take in nourishment, however smallWe also go into what we're actually aiming for here — building capacity, so that you're co-regulating from presence instead of survival. And the deeper pattern underneath all of my giving: the belief that I should give up all of my needs, and where that actually came from.This is part two of a three-part series. Next week: am I giving too much, and how will they ever learn?PREFER TO READ IT?The full written version is on the blog.WHERE TO START WITH THIS WORKI have three free guides here. 3 Shifts — the three patterns most parents get pulled into during a meltdown, and how to shift them so meltdowns settle instead of spiral.7 Truths — for the parent who's read the books and done the inner work and still reacts. What's actually running the show underneath.When You've Given Everything to Your High Needs Child and Lost Yourself: 5 Shifts Back to Meaning, Purpose and Feeling Like Yourself Again — for the grief nobody names, the life you thought you'd have, and the version of you that feels lost inside it.If today's episode landed for you, start with 7 Truths. If the grief section was the part that got you, start with the Meaning guide.