The Feelings We Don’t Talk About: Making Space for the Hard Parts of Parenting Epilepsy

When you’re parenting a child with epilepsy or complex medical needs, there can be so much to manage that your own feelings get pushed to the bottom of the list.The appointments. The medications. The seizures. The research. The decisions. The therapies. The uncertainty about what comes next.And somewhere in the middle of all of it, you may find yourself simply… keeping busy. Keeping busy to avoid the very valid and true feelings that you are having.In this episode, I’m talking about something I wish I had given myself permission to do more of during the years leading up to my daughter’s hemispherectomy surgery: feel my feelings and get them out into the open.During those early years of parenting a child with epilepsy, when my daughter was between 1 and 4 years old, I experienced so many emotions—anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, overwhelm and exhaustion. But instead of really processing those feelings, I often pushed them down and kept moving.There was always something else that needed to be done.And when you’re faced with decisions as enormous as considering brain surgery for your child, it can feel almost impossible to explain what you’re experiencing to someone who hasn’t lived it.You can feel hopeful one day and terrified the next.You can believe that surgery might be the answer while simultaneously wondering, How is this even my life? Why does my child have to go through this?Those feelings CAN coexist.And having them does NOT mean you are a bad mom, an ungrateful mom, or a weak mom.It means you’re human.In this episode, I share my own experience of pushing difficult emotions down and why I now believe it is so important for moms and caregivers to make space for what they are feeling.In this episode, we talk about:Why moms of children with epilepsy and special needs may push their emotions asideThe anxiety, fear, sadness, anger and overwhelm that can come with a complex medical journeyWhy staying constantly busy can sometimes become a way of avoiding difficult feelingsWhy it’s okay to vent without wanting someone to “fix” the situationJournaling, meditation and therapy as possible ways to process difficult emotionsWhy having hard feelings does not make you a bad or ungrateful momGiving yourself permission to be human while caring for your childSometimes the strongest thing we can do is acknowledge what we are feeling, give ourselves permission to feel it, and find a safe place to let it out.If you’re in the middle of a difficult season right now, I hope this episode reminds you that you don’t have to carry every emotion alone.You are strong. You are brave. And you are human, too.Connect With MeIf this episode spoke to your heart, share it with another parent who might need the reminder that they are not alone.Follow along on Instagram: @parentingepilepsy_specialneedsAnd if you enjoyed this episode, please consider following the podcast, leaving a review, and sharing this episode with another mom or caregiver in the epilepsy and special needs community. Your support helps this podcast reach other parents who may need to hear these words.Thank you for being here, and I’ll see you on the next episode. #specialneedsparenting #epilepsy #parentingepilepsychildren #hemispherectomy #hemiparesis