I want to tell you something that took me an embarrassingly long time to learn, and I say that as someone with a doctorate in psychology.We are allowed to feel more than one thing at a time.I know. It…
Someone out there right now is sitting in the sunshine feeling terrible and wondering what is wrong with them.Summer has this particular cultural pressure baked into it. The assumption that longer…
There is a particular kind of grief that arrives without a ritual.No funeral. No casserole. No bereavement leave. No sympathy card. No moment where the people around you pause what they are doing and…
I want to tell you something I don’t talk about very often.I am living in heart failure. Right now, today, as I write this. My ejection fraction sits around 38%. I take fifteen pills a day. I struggle…
When we talk about slowing down in grief, most people picture the same thing. Someone who is moving too fast. Cleaning out closets three days after a loss. Making major decisions before the shock has…
I hear a version of this almost every week, both in my office and out in the world.Someone is struggling, really struggling, and they say something like, “I don’t know why I’m still so sad. It’s been…
Someone tells you they are grieving. Maybe they say it directly. Maybe it comes out sideways, in a comment about not sleeping well or feeling off or just not being themselves lately. And something in…
Can I tell you what grief panic looks like in real life?It looks like cleaning out a closet three days after a loss because you cannot stand to look at it anymore. It looks like researching “how long…
Early in my clinical work, I used to tell clients that grief gets better.I stopped saying it. Not because it is never true, but because it was setting people up to measure their grief against a finish…
